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Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Day Eleven: Weepy Wednesday

The question today is:

What makes you weepy?

Oh my frakken god ... EVERYTHING! I cry at the drop of a hat, and then I'm most likely crying because the hat has been dropped in a puddle or got coffee knocked all over it.

I cry at sad movies. I cry at happy movies. I cry when one minute of a really crappy film turns out to be the one moment of goodness that restores my faith in everything. I cry at an emotional event. Then hours, days, even months and years later, I cry remembering it all again. I cry when I see a couple being affectionate to each other on the bus. I cry when I hear certain pieces of music.
Actually, I bawl my eyes at music a lot.
I think you get the point.

My fella was joking when he first said it, but I think he might actually make it official - I'm banned from watching the finale of Battlestar Galactica ever again. I won't reveal any spoilers, but if you've seen it, you know how much happens in that last hour of the show, and I pretty much have a nervous breakdown watching it.
Every. Single. Time.

Being a recovering alcoholic, I've had to confront a lot of my demons and issues and work them out. It's been 6 years, and though I've made great strides in certain areas, there are still quite a few that need constant work. I used to go right to the bottle to hide from everything, but handling situations sober now has made me so much stronger than I could have ever imagined.

I'm a very sensitive person, so now when I'm faced with something that would make me drink years ago, I tackle it head-on .... yet I can't stop the wave of emotions that still sweep right over, under, and through me.

I wouldn't change it for anything in the world, though. It brings me back into the moment and makes me fully aware of being alive and grateful for all that I have. I'd rather be full of feeling than absolutely dead inside.

Great ... writing that last sentence has made my eyes water. Sigh.

8 comments:

  1. That sounds exhausting. I seem to be the opposite of you, only crying at severe emotional things. I'm glad that you look at your experience of emotion as a positive thing! <3

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  2. I understand you cried watching the finale of Battlestar Galactica; although I didn't, I get it. :)

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  3. That is totally perfect! I love what you said and how you said it. Perfect!

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  4. I cry at just about everything, too! Such a heartfelt post :))

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  5. This is a great post...and this: "I'd rather be full of feeling than absolutely dead inside." moved me VERY much...and I agree. Best way to be! xo

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  6. I'm the same way!
    blessings
    ~*~

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  7. oh... the final Battlestar.... yeah... major sobber. I won't watch it again. The other amazing conclusion was Babylon5. I watched the final episode in a room full of geeky males... every.single.guy.was.sobbing. Me too.

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  8. I am a very sensitive person too. I try to hide it so really try not to cry in front of others, but I often have tears in my eyes--like you said, happy, sad, etc. I'm glad you are able to work through your emotions. It's something I'm working through too. My "drug of choice" is food though. <3

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